My Biggest Fear: Making Friends

Alexis Marchitte—My biggest fear before entering my freshman year was making brand new friends. I was the only student from my high school attending Brockport so I had to start fresh all on my own. I remember many people telling me that “College is where you’ll find your forever friends”. The pressure was definitely on! I was never one of those girls with tons and tons of friends. The quote below describes my personality when it comes to friendship. I’d rather have a couple of really great, trustworthy friends than dozens of acquaintances.

“I find that I would rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.”

I decided that I wanted to live in a suite style dorm, with two bedrooms with two girls in each. I found my roommate on the Brockport Class of 2019 Facebook page and the other two girls were randomly selected. In the beginning I was closer to some of the girls and not others and with time that flip flopped. It takes a while to get to know people, finding friends wasn’t a week process for me. I’m going into my senior year and I’m still getting to know different people and making new friends. I was incredibly discouraged at first because it seemed like within the first week of freshman year everybody already had their own friend group and they didn’t want to let anyone else in. I struggled but I learned very quickly that I have to put myself out there, be outgoing and brave if I want to meet people.

The second night in the dorms, I made a bold move and told my roommates – “I’m going next door to ask the cute boys for a screwdriver and hopefully make some friends.” I walked right over there and made four new friends. I didn’t know at the moment but one of them would turn out to be the love of my life for two years now! Who would have thought that such a great thing would come out of asking for a screwdriver. Throughout the year I kept putting myself out there and talking to kids in my classes, talking to other students who lived in my hall and in the spring semester I made the scariest decision of all. I saw a post on twitter for Brockport’s Habitat for Humanity Club looking for one more student to fill their trip to Florida to do volunteer work. Within two days I gathered all the information, collected a couple hundred dollars and texted my mom that I wasn’t coming home for Spring break. I packed up my bags and started the 20 hour drive down to Florida with a 18 strangers. We spent a week in Fort Lauderdale sharing a one room cabin and building houses for the charity group.

Although I really put myself out there my freshman year, nobody I met ended in a forever friendship. Even to this day I struggle with finding the right people, the older I get the more selective I am with surrounding myself with the right people. It may have seemed like everyone already had their own friend group that was closed to new members but I quickly realized that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t find their “forever friends” the first week of freshman year.

Once you start taking classes within your major, you tend to have all your classes in the same few buildings and you start seeing the same students. The athletic training program takes 14 students a year so once you’re in the program, these other students become your family. It took a semester or two to get really close but now I have a few great friends that I’m so so so thankful I met. I can’t guarantee that you’ll find your best friends in your classes but there are other ways too! I work at the SERC as well and the more I’m there, the closer I get to all of my student coworkers. During orientation everyone will be telling you to join a club and you’ll roll your eyes a thousand times but honestly not only is it a good way to meet new people but it looks great on your resume to be well rounded! I’m in the sports medicine club that meets every Thursday and it’s a combination of the senior, junior and sophomore class of the athletic training students. We do a ton of fun things together but also the older students help the younger students succeed in the program!

As a prospective student it’s normal to be worried if you’ll make friends or not. Maybe you’ll meet them during welcome weekend and it’ll be great, maybe you’ll find them later on in your college career, or maybe you’ll fall in love. One thing I can guarantee is that you’ll leave freshman year with a new friend or two and you’ll be bummed you have to leave them all summer. Good luck and remember, make bold moves and put yourself out there!

 

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