1 Year & 2 Weeks in and I’m Changing My Major

Marie Fischer—When I was little, I was so fascinated by the work my parents did. They’re both nurses, so our dinner table conversations were far from the norm. They consisted of conversations full of blood, broken bones, puke. Definitely not what you were hearing at most tables.

I remember envying them for the things they saw; I wanted to be just like them in every way. I would spend hours on WebKinz taking Health tests till I got a 10/10, just so I could show my mom how brilliant I thought I was. I grew up wanting to be a multitude of things, but my heart always came back to health.

As high school rolled around, I became more and more involved with cheerleading and theatre. Never putting much emphasis on my studies. I let my grades go to the wayside, and because my grades were showing that, I was beginning to believe that I was not smart enough to be a nurse. I felt like I would never be good enough, and as I watched my sister excel in the nursing program here at Brockport, I thought I would never be that good. Leaving me to stick to something that came much easier for me, which was English.

When I was getting ready for college, I was faced with a multitude of questions about my future. “Will you be a nurse?” “Are you excited to follow in your family’s footsteps?” “What do you mean you’re not going to be a nurse?” I felt like the walls were coming in from every side, leaving me no room to escape. I knew I’d never be able to fill the shoes of my sister, leaving me to feel like I’d never be good enough. I wanted to stand out from my family, so I chose a major completely off the beaten path.

Getting into English Ed, I thought I had found the place for me. I was going to be surrounded by kids all the time and helping them in one the best ways I knew. My teachers were some of the most amazing people I’d ever met and they helped me on my journey a number of times. I wanted to be that for someone, someone they could rely on and trust. Someone who would help them when they needed that guidance. But as I got more and more into the idea of teaching, I began to realize it was a path not paved for me.

I have no patience when it comes to teaching others something that comes naturally to me. And as much as I love being there for kids and guiding them, I would never be able to make a lesson comprehensible for them. Listening and watching others put things into perspective for others is something I envy, but on the same token have no interest in doing.

Nursing is something that has always been a part of me. I want to be there for others, guiding them through a path that they can’t do alone. Our health is such a fickle thing and should never be taken for granted. As I head down this path, I know that it’s one that is more well suited for me. Walking into a hospital, I feel at ease and comfortable rather than on edge. Where some people view hospitals as a place full of sickness, I see it as a place full of life not yet ready to give up.

I know it won’t be easy, but deep down, I know that I’m in the place where I belong.

s0201e

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